Each generation lives with a set of unspoken rules of conduct that influence our lives from the moment we are born. These expectations, social paradigms and norms develop as a particular culture evolves. Government, social structures and religious attitudes may adhere to prior tradition or dramatically change. A culture will hold on to what serves them; but change is inevitable and that is uncomfortable for many people .
The 60s and 70s set the tone for radical change. America’s youth took a firm stand and protested across the board, up-ending many traditional institutions and attitudes. They were the generations that tried to bridge “The Generation Gap”. The effects of that period greatly influenced our current society.
Research confirms that a child’s cognitive reasoning ability starts developing in the brain’s temporal lobes between four and six years of age and continues until about age nine. A child’s brain is like a sponge -- recording all the voices, opinions, and subtle (and not-so-subtle) overtones of their parents and teachers during the most crucial years for programming. As children, we lack the ability to challenge or question what we are experiencing. We accept this is as reality - until we “rethink” and “undo”.
It is my intention to provoke memories about how you felt in your early childhood years. I believe that if we understand our pre-programmed learning, we can then find the right tools to rethink some of the issues presenting in our lives currently. After a period of debriefing you will have cleared the way for many new thoughts to build a healthy life upon. This is a great exercise to get you started on why you think the way you do.
Write down what your world was like in the first 6-10 years of your life. You will start to see the framework that influenced your emotional, social and family dynamics. I believe it’s important to go back in time to explore the factors that influenced your development. What were the social and religious standards you were taught and expected to conform to? Were they mainstream or non-traditional?
What were the policies of the government - was it a peaceful nation or was there a war? Who ruled your country? Were you living in a democracy or a dictatorship? Was there revolution in the air? What rights did women have? How many children was your family allowed? Were your ancestors slaves or landowners? Were your parents rich or poor?
In my example, I write about how I felt, where I lived and with whom, the assassination of a president, and books and music that influenced me. Here’s my “foundation”:
I was born in the summer of 1957 and grew up with four distinct seasons. My parents were not college educated and came from modest backgrounds. My father was often unemployed, and my mother worked as a waitress. I was shy and I stuttered until kindergarten.
My mother separated from my father when I was five and my brothers were four and six. We lived with my very nurturing grandparents on and off until I was eleven. We lived in a rural farming town, predominantly Italians who laughed often and scolded us like we were one of their own. I was the only girl in the neighborhood. The boys played rough, so I sequestered myself with an old swing set and fields of tall wheatgrass.
I was chronically depressed. I missed my father. I hated being poor, and I developed a tremendous sympathy for my mother’s life. She repeatedly told me that I had “champagne taste on beer wages” as I perused my grandparents’ Sears & Roebuck catalog.
My father visited once per month. My brothers and I cherished our time with him, and my world would fall apart as he drove away on Sunday evenings. I met friends and became more outgoing when I joined a Methodist youth group during the school year and attended Vacation Bible School in the summers.
President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. I watched it on our small black and white television when I was six. For several months our town mourned this terrible event and there was chatter all around about the Soviet Union having ballistic missiles near the USA. Of course, I did not know what all the panic was about, but people were very upset.
The Boston Strangler, a book written by award winning Gerold Frank in 1967, sat on my mother’s nightstand. She was a voracious reader and often described the stories she was reading. (Parenting did not come with a handbook back then.) The book’s cover and its content haunted me for many nights.
On Feb 9th, 1964 my brothers and I stayed up past our bedtime to watch The Beatles’ US debut on The Ed Sullivan Show. The song “I Want to Hold your Hand” is still one of my top picks from the Fab Four.
In 1965 Davy Jones from the Monkees was my first heart throb. Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass launched a jazz album called Whipped Cream. The album cover featured a voluptuous brunette sitting in a ball gown made of whipped cream. I thought she was the sexiest creature alive.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write as much - or as little - as you want, it’s all good! Keep your essay and add to it when memories pop up, and they will! Of course not all memories are good. You don’t have to relive every moment of a painful experience. Jot it down as a factor that influenced you and move on. In the next blog we will learn to summarize our experiences, clear the air and decided what to retain and what to rethink.